Posts Tagged ‘unfinished’


March 31st, 2011 No comments

Faith is a very fragile thing. We humans are very fragile beings. Sometimes life happens.

Sometimes it would be nice if life would just stop interfering.

My faith has always been temperamental. Was it a need to account for my actions or more an ingrained barometer to gauge my sentient morality I don’t know. What i do know is that it has been shaken countless times and is crumbling now to the point of destruction.

It is not, any more, a question of whether i have it or not, whether i need it or not. But a simple admittance that i don’t want it.

If it is that we are to leave life to fate then why blame anybody for what happened or what will happen. If it is in fates hand then actions do not and cannot determine cause and effect.

But then i don’t believe in fate – never have.

So what else is left? karma?

Why does karma matter? Life’s a bitch and it will always do what it wants. Karma, the way i understand it is – As you sow, so shall you reap. But is “Karma” aware of this?

It is also said that what will be … will be. Do what you have to and don’t worry about the consequences.

Why is causality such a big thing? If each of our action is an isolated independent unit then why do we make such an effort to link them all to find meaning. Why is meaning so important?

I don’t know where am i going with all this.

Suddenly there is a contradictory urge to find meaning and at the same time to not care two hoots about meaning.

Life happened. And i wasn’t ready.

Questions don’t satisfy the thirst any more … answers are no longer necessary.

I read an old post of mine again, and it echoes true even today

What happens when the questions just remain questions and the answer, even though present, isn’t an answer?

What happens when all you see in the void are vestigial fragments of a once delirious vision, floating in the murky waters of a fragmented conscious?

What happens when life lets you down? Am i permitted to banish life from ever interfering with my existence?

I don’t believe in giving up, I have always affirmed that I would rather try and fail than not try at all.

But why? Why is trying so important? If ambitions, aspirations, dreams, hope and life itself is transient then why the attachment to all these? Why the overwhelming urge to achieve something? Why the rush to get somewhere?

Why do we yearn to collect the proverbial bounty at every stage on our journey through life?

Not Any More.

These here are my actions. I must acquiesce, for i am their initiator.


September 30th, 2009 3 comments

Where do you turn to for Inspiration? … Inside You? … Outside?

What if, at times … it just doesn’t seem to be worth the search?

What if in the echoing silence all around there are screams of chaos? What when, the silence is more deafening than the screams?

We fall, stumble, get up and dust ourselves and march on with heads held high … for how long? Sometimes the march itself is aimless. What happens when you are moving in circles?

What happens when axioms remain just that … axioms, but are eventually no closer to the truth than truth itself. What happens when the hollowness is all ensuing and omnipresent.

What happens when reflections are empty and all you see is the void. What if the presence of the void is scarier than the void itself?

What happens when things that matter run through their shelf life?

What happens when the questions just remain questions and the answer, even though present, isn’t an answer?

What happens when all you see in the void are vestigial fragments of a once delirious vision, floating in the murky waters of a fragmented conscious?

Sometimes … It takes so much more to sit and watch the world go by.

What i pray for

With Due Credits to Bill Watterson and His Magnificent Creation: Calvin and Hobbes


June 8th, 2008 2 comments
Today i was going through all the drafts i have saved in my blog, all those unpublished things that i have written about and surprisingly found a few gems in there 🙂
Here’s one of them . . . a bit late now but this was written just two days after the actual incident that i discuss in there and if you do manage to get to the end then you’ll notice that i never got round to finishing it because writing about it was making me more angry than i cared to be at that time, but here is the unfinished one . . .

Whew! what a week it has been for cricket and its fans. Sledging, racism, poor umpiring, a good match and all hell breaking loose at the end.

I was very much tempted to come and rant the same day that the match ended but i held back because i believe it is a very bad thing to vent when you are angry.

I saw the whole match, i saw each and every ball on the last two days and i was angry, very very angry, right from the first moment when India stepped onto the field for their second innings and started playing defensive. There is absolutely no excuse for a team which can boast of having Tendulkar, Ganguly, Dravid, Dhoni and Yuvraj Singh in its line up to not go and attack from the first ball and that too a measly total 0f 333. People have scored more than that in one dayers and i just couldn’t fathom why we were playing defensive … at this stage of the game, the last innings and almost a full day to bat and we go out and play defensive?

Absolute rubbish.

Already i was peeved at the pathetic umpiring decisions on the previous days, but in all honesty Indians are used to umpiring decisions going against them and this has been happening for a while, in fact so used to it that we wouldn’t have even noticed them after the match would’ve finished. Add to this the whole fiasco on the last day with Dravid and Ganguly’s wickets and us losing the test match and then the complaint against Harbhajan. Call it what you may, the opening of Pandora’s box or all hell breaking loose or the biggest crisis to hit cricket since match fixing … whatever happened was huge and it definitely got people to sit up and take note.

How often do we play a game and not lose our temper while playing? and this isn’t just for professional players it holds for all of us who have ever played any sport with a little bit of feeling. Things happen, we lose our temper, say things and then after the game possibly after a couple of days we are all back to normal and itching for another game. But the trouble in today’s politically correct world is that anything anybody says can be picked up as offensive and then everybody goes on a massive witch hunt. Our sensibilities are more sensitive than a new born baby’s backside and as much as a glance can be construed as offensive.There has been a lot of discussion in the media about all that happened, Harbhajan racially abusing Symonds or the Umpires not giving the right decisions or even the Australian team’s post match celebrations and their behavior on and off the field.And to the credit of media globally, there has been equal support for the Aussies as well as the Indians from all quarters.

Let me start with the Indians and what i feel is wrong with them, the issue could be divided into two ways, what happened on the field and off the field and the sense of anger with that and then there was what the media in India did with the story and blew it out of proportion and then the usual effigy burning and slogans and marching that resulted from it. I hate the media in India, i hate the so called TV news channels more than i hate the fourth estate (mind you i do not consider Television news to be a part of the fourth estate). But all in all i hate the media. I will not start talking about why because that would take up another blog post in itself. I just mention this because i believe the media was partly responsible for all the hysteria following the issue. For all our faults and everything, i don’t think there is a single Indian cricket fan who believes that the Indian team is aggressive. The Indian team have forever copped a lot from the Indian fans for not being aggressive on the field. The only saving grace was Saurav Ganguly who i believe has the right level of aggression needed by the Indians. The idea of Indians screaming on the field or getting angry on the field is hilarious to say the least, it just doesn’t happen. It isn’t surprising then that when i heard Harbhajan Singh had been reported for racially abusing Andrew Symonds i found it difficult to digest.

And with all due respect i just couldn’t picture the Australians at the receiving end. Not because it couldn’t happen but more because if in the remote chance that it does happen, then they have the potential to blow the opposing team out of the field, not just with “banter” on the field but with their brilliant game playing.

I believe that the Indians had every right to lodge a complaint against the umpires, i just cannot imagine 8 decisions going against a single team over a period of 5 days in any game. The umpires have to be literal dolts to not know what they are doing and to say that they were under pressure just doesn’t cut it. Andrew Symonds admitted a couple of days later that he provoked Harbhajan and that was why he retaliated and that i can believe.

Indians Re-act they don’t usually act.

Australians are the worst sledgers in the world. They are good at it and they bloody well should be because they bought the art to the field. Unfortunately they are not so good at copping it from other teams. The sad part of it is that they really don’t need to do it. Being who they are and with the amount of talent that is present in the team they really don’t need to go to the level of mentally disintegrating the opposing team by affecting their concentration. They do that by just playing their natural game. Why then all this political correctness about Harbhajan calling Symonds a monkey and Symonds being indignant about this so called blasphemously racist word.

“Monkey” ….. of all the bloody things ….. “Monkey” … that word can be racist?? WTF?? Anyways it isn’t for me to decide but for Symonds and if he was offended by it then so be it. And in that case i think it is just and fair for the Indians to report Hogg for calling Kumble and Dhoni “Bastards”. Sorry Mr. Hogg that just doesn’t cut it, you have just crossed the sacrosanct line. In the above case, isn’t it obvious that abuse or offense is a relative thing? Then why the moral outcry from the Indian media and the Australian media