Fragmented Brain Matter

One thing that i have noticed is that “why” features a lot in all that i write, it isn’t a conscious thing. I don’t strive to ask that consciously but over the last few months i’ve started to realise that i am obsessed with the why. I’d rather prefer to worry about the “how” consciously but it is the why that torments me all the time consciously and subconsciously, in everything i do.

For most of my posts i try to use a single word heading because i like to keep it simple. the single word heading sort of focuses me on what i am trying to talk about.

Why do i act? Why do i react? why do i go through a certain emotion? what is it that drives that “(re)action” – i need to be able to understand that.

For me it is about why “I” am who i am, what makes me me. It sounds a bit conceited but it isn’t. Its more about a journey towards self awareness, towards Sentience, towards understanding myself.

I find that it gives me more insight into people i meet and interact with. Questioning myself for whatever i do makes me less judgemental about others and their actions.

Sometimes the search for the why is overwhelming because it unearths answers which i may not like or shows me a side of myself which isn’t how i see myself or want to see myself.

But that search is something which is an unchangeable and prominent feature of “how” i think.

Now i just need to figure out “why” i think